So You Want To Be A Master
by Lord Bjorn
Preface:
First off, I have to tell you that my hackles go up just thinking about the concept that one can "want" to be a master. It riles me even more so than submissives who think they can wish themselves into instant slavery without a master to serve. At least, the latter know they are submissive. I have encountered some "dominants" whose thinking includes the notion that capitalizing their screen names is the only price of admission into Club Dominance.The harsh reality, as I have come to live it, is that one can develop the native qualities of mastery or submission which lay within them, but those qualities cannot be created out of nothing, or by wishing them into being. In other words, they can only be nurtured if they are there to start with!
Therefore, this article is directed to those who have already discerned their need to dominate. This is not a roadmap to "overnight mastery."
Developing the "Master Within"
Achieving Mastery involves self-development more so than the ability to manipulate weapons of mass instruction, or being able to bark orders and otherwise intimidate the slaves in your life. This self-development is a never-ending "continuing education" process. Several schools of philosophy teach that in order for one to master others, one must master oneself.
Some straightforward guidelines to continuing to grow in your self-mastery include, but are not limited to:
Never stop learning.
Network with other dominants.
Identify your own needs.
Bind your slave with lines of communication.
Don't assume you can or need to know it all.
Take charge!
Allow yourself and your slave to grow.
Be real!
Return to Step One.1. Never stop learning
As society becomes more open and aware, the opportunities for informing yourself are more available than ever. A simple web search can yield many good sources of information on the wide spectrum of fetishes and practices in BDSM in general, and the master-slave relationship specifically. Talk to others at munches, study others at clubs, and attend demos and seminars if you are able.
2. Network with other dominants
While there might be a tendency to think that your way is the only way, talking to others or checking out their websites are simple and effective ways of saving yourself reinvention of the St. Andrew's cross. Those who struggled before have blazed the path you follow. I haven't met a master yet who was unwilling to brag-err-um-talk about himself.
3. Identify your own needs
Before you can have an effective BDSM relationship, you should know what YOU want to get out of it. How controlling will you be? How finely will you manage (or micro-manage) your slave's life? What fetishes are you hoping to explore? Think about making yourself a checklist of the qualities in a submissive/slave that you find desirable, and stick to your guns. And while it is true that nobody is perfect, there is someone (or maybe two or more!) for you out there somewhere.
4. Bind your slave with lines of communication
I cannot stress this one enough. Have clear discussions with your sub/slave on what you will want and expect of them. Let them talk plainly about their needs and expectations so you can see if they (still) mesh.
5. Don't assume you can or need to know it all
No one is infallible. Nobody has all the answers, not even masters! There is nothing wrong with saying "I don't know." A corollary: Snap judgments are not required in all situations. If a slave throws you a curve in her inquiry, you can always say, "I'm not sure, but I'll consider it and let you know later."
6. Take charge!
I've written whole articles about the issues raised in this step. This is, after all, what your slave longs for you to do -- to direct her and lay down rules for her. It is incumbent on you to follow up on your pronouncements and make sure she is obeying you. The more dominant you are, the more you will cultivate her submission.
7. Allow yourself and your slave to grow
As your M/s relationship grows, you will get more in touch with your needs as a master. You may find your need to control deepening, your requirements for her becoming more exacting. You may also discover that things you thought were important to you no longer are, or vice versa. Be aware and responsive to the changes in you and your slave. When the grapes of enslavement are first crushed the juice is sweet. Depending on how it is handled, it can become a fine vintage--improving with age, or a sharp and tart vinegar. You are the vintner in the process. Ultimately, quality control is solely your responsibility.
8. Be real!
Work to debunk the myths and foster an understanding of the reality of the M/s lifestyle. As you discover new insights, never forget to instill them in your slave.
9. Return to Step One
This is a cycle. Keep going through this process. Don't let her ability to serve be stagnated by obsolete and unproductive notions carried forward from her past. Don't let your ability to master be hindered by your own complacency. Keep tearing down the walls that obscure your mastery and her slavery. Continuously tweak and fine-tune your relationship. Insist on the best from your slave. Continue to inspire that performance by always striving for the best in yourself.
