The
Power Exchange Continuum
In sorting out the various personalities I find in the BDSM world, I have come up with the following concept which works for me. I offer it here in the hope that it might reduce friction and promote better understanding. I call it the "Power Exchange Continuum".A continuum is a range of numbers, such as a thermometer that goes from 0 - 100 for example.
At the 0 point is what we call vanilla. There is no real power exchange between two people, (at least not one that is acknowledged and consensual) Greater than zero but on the low end of the range there is some power exhange... it may be very little or very temporary. This is the range in which, one would encounter "tops", "bottoms" and "switches" who are into the BDSM side of the lifestyle. The "sensationalists"... they enjoy the sensation of pain, or of inflicting it, but any actual surrender to, or taking responsibility for the other person pretty much ends when the "scene" is over.
In the mid range, say from 25 to 75 are the Doms and subs. In this range, there is some level of real power exchanged. From a little to a lot but it is there and spills over into everyday life.Finally..IN MY DEFINITIONS, you get to the high range... 75 - 100. These are the Masters and the Slaves. At this end of the line the power Exchange is nearly complete. This is the 24/7 crowd, and the ones that most often describe themselves as the "true Doms" or "true subs"
The trouble with the word "true" as an adjective is that it implies that the person so described is "better" than someone who has given up less power, someone who has placed more limits on their submission for example. This is not necessarily correct. Hence the friction. A "true" D/s relationship is one in which two people have found a counterpart (i.e.: a sub finds a Dom) that is relatively close to where they are on the continuum, be it 30 or 90.
Where you are on the line, on any given day may vary somewhat. I also have days when I don't feel very "Dommy" at times, commanding a slave is a wonderful experience, at other times it's more like work than anything I do to make money. But slaves expect to be controlled and Masters expect to be obeyed. If your master is having a down day and you are getting by with stuff you wouldn't on another day this creates confusion. (And I know you hate that !) And if a Master expects to be obeyed and you "just don't feel like it"... well I think you know the likely result there right?
So we make compromises, just like the vanillas ! Maybe we're not so very different from them after all !
D/s Seekers©